I Have an Odd Reading Problem

 

chatting with remarakablylisaObviously, I’m a reader.

I have a blog filled with majority of book reviews and promos. My instagram is dedicated to photos of books. And for the past month, I’ve spent 3 hours each week taking photos of books and I’ve read over 20 books for the month of February.

Reading is a hobby. For some, reading is taken more seriously. I remember for the past two or three years since starting the Goodreads Reading Challenge that it wasn’t just a challenge to read a certain amount of books each year but how many books I can read to surpass my personal goal. Then it went to being competitive against myself and beating my personal best.

In 2017, I read 367 books.

That’s more than 1 book a day. I want everyone to know that I wanted to read more than one book a day but what happened was that during the last few months, I started getting sidetracked and realized, I didn’t want to read to compete with myself or anybody. I must be honest and admit that at some points, I tried competing with other readers on Goodreads but realized that my life situation was far different from others which made me not able to read as much as someone else.  This is my odd little reading problem #1.

So for 2018, I set my goal to 25 books.

75 less books than my 2017 Goodreads Challenge because I didn’t want that sort of mentality anymore. I didn’t want to pressure myself into beating my 2017 reading scores. I wanted to read because I liked to read and if I didn’t want to read, I wouldn’t guilt myself into reading because of this score I had in my head.

January was good. I read maybe 25 books, met my challenge, and didn’t feel the pressure of reading more. Mostly because I started a new job, I read big books over 500 pages that made me EXHAUSTED, and I had TV shows I wanted to distract myself with. It felt peaceful. And nice.

February came and it got a little rough. I realized I had 5 ARCs I needed to read ASAP because they had early release dates in the month of love and if I wanted to get my reviews in on time, I had to start reading. Fast. I paced myself, forced myself to read on the train to work and back, and one by one I conquered each book. With each book, my hunger to read more grew stronger.

Suddenly, I was reaching for more and more books because the previous read I read was too good and I needed something to fill the void when it finished. I was on a reading high. Determined to read more of these gems on my shelf, I began slipping into my old routine. I read a book a day. Most of the times, the books were good so I had no problem with them. But then I read some iffy ones that left a sour taste in my mouth and suddenly, I was reading because I wanted to finish the book so I can finish my pattern of a book a day.

I started feeling bad that I fell behind in reading. Again. I had this mentality that I needed to start a new book by 12 AM or I was a failure. Eventually, I finished reading the book and would be on the hunt for the next one. With over 1,700 physical books on my shelf, it’s a blessing and a curse.

I didn’t know what to read next. I had a bunch of TBR books I would set myself to read for the month but none of them seemed interesting to me. Then I got a whole new stack of books from the same shelf and wanted to read EVERYTHING ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

So, that’s my weird little reading problem part 2. I wanted to read all these book but I got sad when I realized I don’t have enough time or energy to read all these books in one day. I wanted to read them at the same time but knew in my crazy bird brain that I physically can’t. It’s impossible. But that didn’t stop me from feeling sad when I realized this.

It really is too many books so little time.

6 thoughts on “I Have an Odd Reading Problem

  1. I completely understand your dilemma! At some point last year, I took a break from reading what I felt like I had to read and switched to only reading what I wanted to. In some instances that worked so much better for me, but there is still never enough time and energy to read everything there is all the time. Especially with new jobs and such, it can get quite hard. I’d say, just don’t stress about it too much, but I know that’s sometimes not an option. Still, you do you!

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  2. I completely understand where you’re coming from. There is a reason I don’t take part in reading challenges and such because I never want to put myself in a position where I just read to add another number to the goal. My philosophy is to read when I’m in the mood to do so. I only tend to read an average of around 30 books a year and they’re usually books I enjoy. At the end of the day, I just go with the flow and try not to stress about when/what I should be reading.

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  3. Oof! That sounds like a problem and I’ve never really thought about it that way. The ARC part is rather unfortunate, but the best advice I can give is just try (operative word: try) to pace yourself! And also just read what you want (obviously that doesn’t work with ARCs, but you get the idea). I think it’s better to read those books when you want to than to force yourself to read.

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  4. I relate! This year up until about day 47 I read one book a day. But college started and I fell behind and I was working harder to find time to read, but eventually I fell behind because I just have too many things to do IRL. I’m only a few days behind now but I don’t want to pressure myself to read more. I want to take it slowly and pick up books I truly think I’ll enjoy and read them at a good pace so I can enjoy fully.

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