I’m 100% sure nobody on here knows who I am and where I’m from.
I mean, you guys will know about my name, my age, which city/province I live in, and how I look like from my bio but you guys don’t know more than that. There are personal things I’m not able to share on my blog because WordPress restricts the idea of random posting. By random posting, I mean thoughtless text posts on what I’m thinking at the moment or just things that are not related to my normal blogging routines.
And I get that it’s my blog and I can do what I want but somehow it feels so different from Tumblr.
If you have a Tumblr, you might agree with me. Tumblr tends to not have much of a structure. There is more content and it’s easier to share such content. With WordPress, posts are limited to the views of your followers and sometimes, the odd viewers searching the tags. But with Tumblr, content is constantly reblogged(shared) across blogs on dashboards. It’s quick. It’s easy. It’s just one click.
You might be wondering now why this post if I liked Tumblr so much. Why did I quit? What was so awful that you decided that enough was enough and you needed to leave?
It’s nothing dramatic.
I was a part of a fandom for a well known celebrity. Accumulating over 50,000 followers before Tumblr deleted my account on the terms of copyright violations (I uploaded music), I restarted my blog and gained 15,000 followers before deleting it on my terms. It started with me not logging on anymore. I was more involved with life, happier to set myself apart from the internet, and appreciating things around me more than zeroing my attention on someone who was somewhere out there. What I also suspect that contributed to my ultimate decision to delete my work was a fallen out with a friend. We met there. Things were said. Conversation muted. Pain happened. And it seemed we both parted with words hanging between us.
But enough of the sad friendship story. I wanted to talk about other reasons why I left. Since I was part of a fandom and I had a significant following, I felt that I was limited in terms of what I could blog. I would lose a tonne of followers if I blogged about someone else or I’ll gain a bunch and lose them later on when I zeroed back on my focus on someone else. In terms of a marketing perspective, my target audience was fairly limited. And that stunted my creativity and made me sad to log on.
Another reason why I left was simply because the people in the fandom. Nobody really attacked me but I felt that there were people who didn’t particularly liked me or they felt indifferent towards me. Most of the times, I found myself being really ignored. I stopped blogging for a bit and where I thought people would care as to why my disappearance occurred, I was easily replaced with some up-and-coming blogger. That was really the harsh reality of it all. The truth was if you didn’t provide content on a regular basis and grow a connection with people you follow, they will forget you. Or in other harsher terms, you’re not that special despite having the amount of followers you have. You can make a few significant friends that will remember your birthday or your favourite colour of nail polish on your nails but just like your facebook friends, not everyone really knows or cares about you.
I probably deleted my blog 4 months now. Or maybe 5. But since I deleted my blog, I found myself in a tug-and-pull relationship between joining back on the Tumblr train or just writing it off for good. On one hand, I miss meeting new friends on the internet, the interaction between other bloggers, and blogging randomly about my life. On the other hand, building the follower base I was before is hard work. It takes a tremendous amount of time and dedication and I really need to focus on myself at the moment.
And the biggest question might be…well, what do I blog about? I don’t particularly like anyone as much as I liked the main celebrity I had a crush on.
I guess I’m standing in front of two paths, not knowing where to go.
Or maybe I’m just making a huge deal out of this. It’s Tumblr for God sake’s. It’s not like i’m trying to decide whether or not I’m moving across the world to some small country in Europe because the love of my life is there.